Ophelia Crane

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Adventures of your average every day writer!

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Anybody want to buy a book???

Posted by opheliacrane on August 23, 2015 at 1:50 AM

The storm clouds gather at the building's peak. A rumble echos against the stone walls and streaks of lightning shoot across the sky. I look down at my creation. Months and months of hard work finally its final stages. The shape that I have created shall move forward into the world and into history.

I press the button. The sky cracks open to herald its arrival. I laugh. Ripples of uncontrollable laughter well up and explode out of my body. I fall into hysteria as the internet lights up, spreading my words through cyberspace. I scream, words coming forth in a mad shriek.

Okay, okay, so that was a little dramatic. But how exciting! The book is finally out!

The final proof came in and the book finally looks like I wanted to - well, 97 percent of what I wanted it to look like anyway. The point is - It's here!


So, yeah, that thing I've been talking about for a while now is finally on the market. Now. Now comes the hard part.


The hard part is marketing, of course. How do I convince you, my dear and only friends, that my book is the best book that has ever been in the history of the world? Surely if you've come this far, you don't need all that much convincing.
So, this next part is just for the newbies. The people who liked my Facebook page with a "Well, this looks interesting" thought in mind. Gather round!


The Pride: Sacrifice! The new novel from author Ophelia Crane has just dropped today! For only 12.95 you can be thrilled by the exciting adventures Saro and Mainor - Princes of the jungle!

The tale follows the maneaters of Tsavo and their mission to protect their hunting grounds from The Great Iron Snake as it rips through the jungle, destroying the land and its inhabitants!


Don't miss this exciting first installment in The Pride series! Don't miss the thrills! The chills! The explosions! Oh, the humanity!

The book has been herald as the greatest work of this generation! The words just jump out at you and dance all over your living room floor, then run outside and invite all your neighbors over for a party!


But that's not all! If you buy this book today, world peace will be declared all over the planet! A virtual utopia will spring up from the depths of the Atlantic Ocean and we will all share a coke and sing in harmony!


It is the greatest book of all time! But don't take my word for it! Neil Gaiman might've said: "I tried reading it, but my mind was blown! Literally! I'm still picking up bits of brain matter in my rug! It's that good!" And I heard President Obama calls it: "A triumph for mankind! We can forget about going to Mars! The Pride: Sacrifice has reached the pinnacle of all works for humanity!" Stephen King kind of said: "After reading Ms. Crane's novel, I said 'That's it. I don't have the will to write anymore. I'm going back into retirement.'"

So buy it! Discover what is taking the world by storm! It is The Greatest Book in All of Human History!

The Pride: Sacrifice. Available now!

Thank you! Thank you!

Yeah, so okay, maybe some of that wasn't true - but buy the book anyway! It's still pretty awesome!



Posted by opheliacrane on August 15, 2015 at 4:50 PM

So, guess what? Guess what? GUESS WHAT?

I got the proof for my book!


The proof! You know, the demo copy of the glorious book that I slaved over to bring into this fair world for you, my dear friends, to read and enjoy? My Proof!


That's the good news! And it looks okay! Well...you know...okay. All right, let's just say there are some tweaks to be had. Tweak number one:


While this looks pretty good, I have to admit, I noticed that the placement of the title is too high. With the stretched out looking cover, it makes the entire book looks like it was originally supposed to be the size of an ant.

So, fix the heading on the cover. Check. Tweak number two:

Can you tell what this book is about by reading it? Yeah, neither can I. That's not lighting folks. The blurb is completely blended into the background. It's dreadful.

But this isn't a terrible thing. These are easy fixes. So I redid it and the second proof is on its way to me in about a week and some change. We have to focus on the positives, folks.

Like the fact that the inside looks like I wanted it to look. Like the ebook that I designed isn't so bad either. Like my mom's beautiful drawing will be included in the inside cover as well.

So, yeah. One more go with the proof and this time, we'll have something awesome to share.

By the way, if you have a Facebook account, make sure you stop by and show some love by liking my page! See you later, folks!



Posted by opheliacrane on August 5, 2015 at 7:35 PM

Well, hello world!

Three days after my little announcement, I’ve come to the conclusion that I may have been a touch ambitious in my wanting to release this book before the week is out. One might say I’ve bitten off a little more than I can chew, even.


I’ve got everything I need. Book’s finished and edited. Inside pictures and structure have been chosen…mostly. And I’ve selected my cover art…maybe. I dunno.

Nobody told me that creating a book was so dang hard! Not that I thought it would be easy, but dammit, so far everything I thought would just fall into place is a filthen,flarnin struggle!

So, yeah. I asked my mother to draw the cover art a few months back. Despite the fact that it’s taken a few months for her to come up with something, we’ve managed to come to the conclusion that her work would be much better as the inside art to my books. The Pride in particular is supposed to be a series, so this will give her plenty of ammo as time goes on.

Of course, now that I have said pictures, the publisher I’m going with is having issues with them. I upload them. They say: “This picture is low quality. Try again.”

Okay, so I take the picture directly from my camera and upload them. They say: “This picture is low quality. Try again.”

Okay, so I take the drawing and scan it directly into my computer, check the quality (300 dpi resolution, thankyouverymuch) and upload them. They say: “This picture is low quality. Try again.”

Oh, it gets better. So I just say screw it and move on to the cover art. I design my picture. It looks pretty good and I upload it. It’s too big. Way too big. Like it doesn’t even look like my picture anymore.

So, I have to resize, but the seven programs I have for resizing photos don’t seem to know what I’m talking about. It’s like I’m working with programs from another country or something.

I had to step away from it for a night. After I did, I decided to bend instead of breaking. That is, I redesigned my cover art to fit within the boundaries of my publiser's programming. The result?


That brings me to the good news. I was able to complete the final designs for my book.

The bad news is, I now have to wait for the proof to arrive in the mail...which means I have to push back my release date.

But hopefully only for about a week. :)

Stay tuned for a new announcement date folks!


Round 2! Fight!

Posted by opheliacrane on August 1, 2015 at 1:50 PM

So, I’ll bet you all were wondering “Whatever happened to that one chick? You know, the one with the lion book?” My website appears to have gone cold, I’ve posted very little on the subject in the last few months. Well…

When last I left you all, I was going to give up on self-publishing. I’d thrown my proverbial towel into the ring on the whole subject. After all, I’m just as good a writer as all those big fish in the pond. Why couldn’t I do the traditional route? If I sent out enough queries, somebody would bite eventually because I am the shit, right?

A side note - a query is a letter to a publisher or agent telling them why your book is amazing. It’s an encouragement to all the big timers to jump on board the “Ophelia Crane” train as it were. Not that you asked or anything but...

So, why not go traditional? Well, I don’t have anything against it. I have tried the road before and I firmly believe that if one keeps knocking on doors, eventually someone will open the one you want. That being said, I was fully prepared to run the gamut once more for my art.

Only as I looked at the pages of my novel I realized what that would mean. It would mean giving away some of my control. In some cases, that can be a good thing. A lot of times the editors, publishers, what have you, know best in terms of what would make a good novel. But in all cases their main goal is to sell, sell, sell. Even if that means sacrificing the very thing you worked so hard to create. I mean, I’m all about killing my darlings, but I’m not trying to hack away my integrity with it.

So, I asked myself, how much would I be willing to hack away for “The Pride” to be published? How much integrity of this story would I be willing to give up to the Gods of Fame and Wealth? The answer was a resounding “NONE”. I just couldn’t bring myself to hand over my story only for it to become something I never intended. Not for any price. I say thee NAY!

What I’m getting at, dear friends, is that I am going to release my novel in...wait for it...one week from today! That's right, August 8th! I am going to market it to the best of my capability. Most importantly, I’m going to do my damnedest to convince you, oh dearest friends and compatriots, that this story is worth your time. This story in its entirety is worth your beloved eyes and imaginations and this story is how I will continue to capture the nights all over the world and bring them to you. If I make a million, yay! If not, then I will write on, a little wiser and with a little more knowledge. But nothing will be sacrificed that doesn’t need to be. I will kill my darlings only when necessary and never for the greater good of book sales.

Here’s hoping it all works out and here’s hoping you’re all still reading.








Knowing when to say when...

Posted by opheliacrane on October 1, 2014 at 7:25 PM

After much deliberation and soul searching, I've decided that self publishing is not for me at this time.  Sorry, Self Publishing.  It's not you.  It's me.

Now we can blame it on not enough resources, or the failure of the crowdfunding campaign, but truly what it comes down to is that, clearly, at this point in time in my life, I am not ready to drive on my own.

I'm far from bailing completely however.  I've decided to give my creation up to the editor gods in lieu of better opportunities in the future...

In plain English, I'm going to seek out literary agents and publish traditionally...well, give it a shot anyway.

I've avoided it because...well...I'm not too cool with the idea of an editor who doesn't share my vision to come in and take apart my work and turn it into what I had not intended.  You see, my writing is a piece of my soul and...well...the idea of facing rewrites are painful...really painful.

But, face them I shall.  I wasn't blessed with this gift for nothing.  So, with that being said, I'm taking the plunge.  Wish me luck!

And so it goes...

Posted by opheliacrane on August 10, 2014 at 3:10 PM

Okay, let's start with the bad news.

Sadly, I did not raise enough money in time for my crowdfunding campaign.  It's truly a sad, sad day.

But I've dried my tears and I'm ready to move forward.  "The Pride: Sacrifice" will go on as scheduled...sort of.  It's just going to take a little longer than originally planned.  

Okay, not that long.  The Pride: Sacrifice will make its way into the world.  It's just going to be a little tougher.  I'm up for it, though.  I always knew bringing my book-baby into the world would be tough. Labor is never easy.

And I am!  Party on!  In the meantime, I'm working on other works, so stay tuned!  There is so much more to come.

Crowdfunding 101

Posted by opheliacrane on June 30, 2014 at 6:15 PM

First, let me start off by saying a million thanks to all who have donated to my crowdfunding project so far!

That being said, I've been asked a couple of questions about it.  So, here's a brief rundown of the funding for my new novel, The Pride: Sacrifice. Get out your pencils and get your focus on.  Ready?

Good!  Now, crowdfunding.  As many of you may now, I've decided to go the route of self-publishing for this novel.  Self-publishing means I have to pay for advertising, printing, copyediting, etc, etc.  I, like most people, am not Stephen King...

Not yet, anyway.  So, until I get there, I'm gonna need a little support from my friends, family, acquaintances and, Oh, what the Hell, total strangers would work, too.

That's where you come in.  Go to pubslush and have a look at my project page.  You can donate 5, 25, 100, or 1000 dollars towards my goal and in return you'll get a sweet prize from yours truly once the novel has hit the presses!  Don't want a prize?  Want to donate whatever you want?  That's cool, too.  There's an option to donate whatever amount you like.  Sound easy?  That's because it is easy.  Pretty neat, huh?

So, cool!  Go on!  Donate!  The sooner I meet my goal, the sooner I can get my next novel out to the masses!  Help bring my lions to life!!

So, what did you do this weekend?

Posted by opheliacrane on June 1, 2014 at 2:15 PM


Hello, kind and wonderful world!

I've always said that to you don't have to experience the world to be a good writer, however, it doesn't hurt.  That being said, I've tried to spend my life experiencing as much as I could.  Thus far I haven't seen any reason to experience bungie jumping or skydiving (knock on wood), but I can't say that it's entirely out of the question.  I always joke that if I make it to 110, then I'm gonna have to go skydiving.  That way if I die trying it, then when someone asks my kids how I died, they can say skydiving without it sounding sarcastic.  :)


So, with that in mind, I tell you, dear world, that I am not only a writer and a mother and a massage therapist and a college student, but I'm also a bellydancer.  This weekend, I got to wear the bellydancer hat for two, count 'em TWO shows.  Pridefest in Ferndale and Islandfest in Grosse Ile.  Had. A. Blast.  

But it wasn't without the occasional Bellydance problem or two.  I was first up on the roster and the first to discover that the asphalt I was dancing on had been under the hot summer sun all morning and part of the afternoon and was now about a million degrees.  Now, I'm no newbie when it comes to dancing on the street.  My feet are pretty tough when it comes down to it.  I can usually handle a hot street.  Yesterday was special, however.  It was less like dancing on asphalt in the summer and more like dancing on...well...

Which was a little less than fun, but I got through the dance, albeit with sore feet.  Seeing everyone out there watching us was amazing.  You know that song by Lady Gaga?  Applause?  I swear hear it in my head when I see all those faces looking back at me.  

So, then, next was Island Fest in Grosse Ile, which was a pretty awesome setup.  The tent we were at was set up like a beach, with sand everywhere and tropical plants.  It was an awesome kind of setup.  We were all jazzed to dance at the beach tent.

The performance was awesome, of course.  I got to dance two songs with my swords.  Something I rarely get to do at all.  Needless to say, I got to do this:

And this: 

But wait!  It gets better!  I got to do this!

But the most awesome thing of all is that I got to perform with some really awesome chicks.  La'salle, Shannon, Abida, Stephanie and Adina -- I thank you for letting me rock the island with you.